So Now What?!? Prt. 3: Asking The Wrong Question

Thanksgiving has come and gone, Christmas is less than three weeks away.  My 6-year-old son has already made quite a list for Santa, and as I write this it’s –3 degrees outside (I have shoveled our driveway and patio three times within the span of a week, and needless to say, despite the beauty of the snow, it’s getting a little old and I long for the balmy highs in the 40s and lows in the 20s!) 

We packed up the three kids in our mini-van and chugged our way to Texas for Thanksgiving week:  We saw tons of folks we call ‘family’, ate a ton of fried turkey and honey-baked ham, and made it back to Denver just in time to relax for a few moments before ‘normal’ life reared it’s awkward head and welcomed us with open arms.  Another Thanksgiving holiday week in the books….

So Now What?  What Next?

So Now What? Part Two

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”(Matt.5.19-21)

So Now What?!?

It’s very hard to write this week.  To be quite honest, the last few weeks have been rough ones, for different and various reasons.  A lot of stress, a lot of blues hinging on despair, a lot of fear in regards to what the future holds, a lot of self-loathing for not being a stronger person.  So I guess I’m going through one of those typical emotional storms that everyone goes through at one time or the other. Thank God we don’t all get the blues at the same time!

So yes, it’s hard to write this week.  And how to make the transition to the above scripture?  Certainly not the direction I was planning to go in last week, but a valid direction nonetheless (here goes nothing!):

Nearly two years ago (November 22, 2009) I stepped down from my ministry position at the church I was working at.  I was frustrated and burned-out beyond what I could handle at the time.  My wife had a great job, and with her support I decided to train to become a firefighter.  I honestly thought I would be more fulfilled, I would feel happier, like I was actually working, doing something, helping people.  At the time I felt as a minister I wasn’t doing anybody any good, and that few if any were listening.

Needless to say, we’re coming up on two years now…

So Now What?!?

Although God has blessed us incredibly through my wife’s work (from home, no less), it still kills me that I still have been unable to support our family – no paychecks with my name on them in almost two years.

Although God has granted me steady (but slow) success in my firefighting endeavor, I still feel like I only know the tip of the iceberg (firefighting is like that).

Although I have seen and experienced many things that many people will never see or experience, I still feel unfulfilled. 

Although I might get a paid job someday if I just keep plugging away, after these two years I’m just tired, just plain weary, just worn out of the whole idea.  And this only makes me loath myself for not being stronger!

Basically, after two years I find myself wanting to go back to where I was before, I desperately want to preach and minister again…but – thus a feeling of remorse, of dread—did I just waste the last two years of my life? 

So What’s Next!?!

Two years later and my personal, professional, financial future are still up for grabs.  The success I shot for in ministry I did not obtain.  The success I have seen in firefighting has not met my expectations either.  And for some strange reason I am pretty much incapable of doing anything else!  (If you want to make my wife laugh, suggest to her I go into ‘business’)

Just having turned 37, I am realizing some sobering truths about myself as a person: I will never make a lot of money.  I will never come close to reaching the level of success I always dreamed of reaching.  I will never command the respect I secretly desire.  I will never be as strong—mentally and physically—as I wish to be.  I will never, ever, live up to my own expectations of being a successful person, thus leading a ‘good’ life…

So Is That All?!?!

All this not to make you feel sorry for me (please don’t)—no, all of this to give you a real life example of how dismal life can become if our hearts are glued to the wrong treasures!  “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  Material treasures are fleeting, and can be taken away just as quickly as they were handed to us.  Treasures of affluence and success can also be stolen.  Putting my heart, mind, and soul into a plan of material success only leads to a bigger “What’s Next?”

Eventually, someone takes my job.  Eventually, someone steals my power.  Eventually, people stop listening and start calling someone else ‘Sir.’  Eventually, I would become a has-been, and eventually if I did make any money, someone else would spend it.  Eventually my prized possessions will all wind up in a pawn shop or a junkyard.

So What’s Next?!?! Is That All?!!?

For where you treasure is, there your heart will be also.  The only thing that lasts is in a heavenward direction.  The Gospel is the only Word that gives life, Jesus is the only person worthy of your allegiance.  As much as life may hurt NOW, as unfulfilling or as frustrating as it may be, NOW is only a tiny FOOTNOTE in what is our whole, complete story in Christ.  Although we are urged to live in the NOW, it’s certainly not all we have.  If this life is all we are living for, if these earthly treasures are all that we strive after, then yes, we can ask with assurance for the rest of our lives, So Is that all?!?!

The writer of Ecclesiastes summed up the purpose of life by saying ‘fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.’  Augustine once wrote that ‘You have created us for yourself, and our hearts are not quiet until they rest in you.’

Despite our troubles, our disappointments, our frustrations, our fears, our cares, our worries, our setbacks, our weaknesses—I remind you to always take comfort in God, to rest in Christ, to seek the peace of God that passes understanding….And yes, indeed, that is all, it is more than enough!!!

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Jesus, Matthew 11.28-30)

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.  Let your reasonableness be know to everyone.  The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Paul, Philippians 4.4-7)

In Him,
Mark

So Now What? (Part 1)

Ok, so the Rangers lost the World Series.  They didn’t just loose it, they gave it away in an agonizing, grand historical fashion.  Fans that had waited since the early 70s for a WS win were effectively punched in the gut.  Game 6 was enough to stare blankly at the TV and wonder, if there actually is a purgatory, was this it?!?!  Unless, of course, you were rooting for the red birds, in which case you’d have to wonder if God was a bona-fide Cardinal fan?

But step back for one small moment and consider: What if the Rangers had won?  Besides the fun-filled experience of watching the games, the fond memories, the future back-slapping story-telling that might ensue for months or even years: Would it truly be any more than a mildly blissful distraction to any fan’s everyday life?  Would it literally change anything?  Would we honestly experience more joy, would our lives be forever changed?  Would one still have to do the dishes or laundry the next day?

Or take anything else that you are passionate about: Music, art, books, movies, TV shows, politics, ministries, your job, your “success”, your possessions, your family, your friends, your significant ‘other’:  Will any of these things or people make your life essentially complete? 

This might hurt a bit..

“And we all…are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.  For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” (2. Cor. 3.19)

I am reminded of a praise song we often sang at devotionals growing up, one that I never much cared for.  I didn’t necessarily despise it as a song, but something about its message seemed a bit off to me, though I could never put my finger on exactly what it was.  I just knew that it irritated me to see my fellow Aggies for Christ singing this song on the steps of the Academic building on campus, eyes closed, hands held upward… but then again, I was a foolish, angry young man with only a few good ideas, a lot of heart, and a spiritual chip on my shoulder…nevertheless, something still seemed 'off' to me. The chorus of the song went as  follows:

My heart is hard / My soul so weak / The ways of evil / Cut so deep / I need You, Lord / To come inside / And gently break / My heart. (from the praise song “Break My Heart”)

I’m now much older, about to turn 37 at the end of this week.  I am somewhat wiser, less prideful, more humble than I was 15 years ago.  I have much less of a chip on my shoulder, though I still haven't gotten rid of it completely.  And guess what?  That song still bothers me to this day.  At least now I know why.

Everybody Hurts, Part 3: Psalm 13

Psalm 13 offers us an incredible yet succinct way to present our suffering before God.  In just 6 verses this Psalm provides us a healthy template through which we can cry out before the Lord with boldness, with honesty, with soul, and with reverence. 

There appears to be three parts to this Psalm, thus three steps in “crying out” to God: 1) The Cry; 2) The Plea; 3) The Praise. 

First Movement: Crying Out To God

¹ How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
   How long will you hide your face from me?
²How long must I take counsel in my soul
   and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Cease Striving! Prt. 2: Trying Too Hard

Despite my best efforts, I have always fallen far short of the ‘standard of excellence’ that somehow got lodged into my brain long ago…and as I tried so incredibly hard to be good, tried so incredibly hard to be successful, I have often been anything but.  The frustration and depression from failing to reach these unobtainable goals led me (while serving as a vocational minister) to go in a different direction and try and obtain a lasting peace, a lasting happiness….in Christ, ‘of course.’  Needless to say, I have tried so incredibly hard to be happy, to be peaceful, to be easy going, that of course I have failed at it miserably, time and time again…

  

Ironically, my 'best efforts' were always directed at winning my own 'self acceptance': I knew God loved and accepted me, yet I was not nearly as accepting and forgiving of "I" as God was(!)  How well-intentioned yet incredibly self-absorbed! And yet, even though I recognize my over-striving, even though I work hard to eliminate it, I only ‘strive to hard’ to eliminate ‘striving to hard’!  As Charles Brown would say at this point, “GOOD GRIEF”, man!  And better yet, not only do I continue to get caught in this battle of strife, I pray unceasingly that God will help and bless me in my strivings(!)

Cease Striving! Prt. 1

I was formally introduced to the call of Psalms 42.6 in a dusty classroom at the back of a tiny church, stuck in a “Preaching School”-style class on Old Testament Wisdom Literature (and Psalms) some 12 years ago.  The instructor was old, wise, and gentle (unlike some of his harsher contemporaries.)  He taught from the New American Standard version, which I personally have never preferred for its ‘choppy’ reading, despite its reputation for literal accuracy in translation.

I had two bibles out and open, an NIV and a NASB.  As we came to Psalm 46, my ears perked up because I recognized verse 10 to contain the words of a devotional song I had grown up singing... 

Everybody Hurts (Encouragement Note #2)

One thing we all share is that we all experience suffering and hardship from time to time.  Some experience it more than others; some handle it poorly, some nobly.  Despite any of this, we all feel pain, everyone suffers, and everybody hurts.  I certainly hope not, but you may be suffering right now.  The reason for and degree of suffering should matter little—indeed, we often berate ourselves, because our suffering is comparatively less than we believe another’s to be.  I’d ask that you not do this:  Please don’t overdramatize your problems and force them upon some poor unsuspecting listener, yet at the same time do not simply dismiss your pain as nothing, in an attempt to convince yourself of your own mental toughness.  It’s okay to hurt, it’s okay to admit you are suffering or having a hard time.  It certainly isn’t against God that you would be crying out.  In fact, because of our frequent suffering, our cries should always be freely expressed to God.

Preaching Quick Hits, Part 2

It’s Saturday night, about 9:30pm mountain time, the kids are in bed, the wife is watching a movie upstairs, and I just discovered live Pink Floyd from ’74 being played on YouTube (with original visuals, no less),  …So why on earth am I blogging about preaching right now, on a perfectly good Saturday night?!?!?

I guess I can’t help it.  Back when I was a vocational minister I had a ritual of sitting down and going through my class/sermon notes every Saturday night.  I’d put some good music on, grab a snack and a soda, and try to get some good review time in before catching the first 30 min. of Saturday Night Live.  No matter how many hours I put into the sermon or lesson that week, I would still review them with a red pen late Saturday night: Indeed, I miss those days (and my little ritual) a great deal.  Perhaps that’s why I’m sitting here, Floyd’s “Us and Them" on my computer speakers, typing this blog about preaching.  It certainly brings back very positive memories.

Preaching 'Quick-Hits', Prt. 1

(note: although the following is in regards to ‘preaching,’ and seeing as how few- if any - preachers will ever read this blog, I invite you to see how these principles might apply to your daily life.  Just because you might not preach, per se, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try and communicate the gospel, daily…perhaps the Spirit might even encourage you through my “thoughts on preaching," so give’em a try!)

I am a preacher at heart, always have been, always will be.  Proclamation of the Word has always been of utmost importance to me, and most of what I have learned in regards to the act and art of preaching came from working experience and from my old man, Wayne Wylie; who, despite the fact that we don’t always see the same on some issues, and despite the fact that our “styles” of rhetoric are incredibly different, I agree with whole-heartedly in regards to the whys, hows, and what-fors we continue to preach, week in, week out. 

  

So here we go, the first of a number of posts in regards to preaching:

You are not "You" Part 1

You are not “You.”

You are not your own, you where never meant to be.

Your identity, your ego, your personality, your free will;

Your name, your face, your body and mind, your story, your memories;

Your wants, your needs, your desires, your faith, your very life—

As if these things were truly yours to own, as if you were completely in control and the center point of existence.  As if all of these God-given things were handed over to you to do with as you please, to identify as you will. 

You are not You, You are not your own, you were never meant to be.

Paul sums up the declaration of Christian living quite nicely in the following:

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2.20)

'Encouragement' Note #1

This morning as I was simultaneously covering my daily bible reading and listening to my iPod on shuffle, George Harrison’s “All Things Must Pass” came up.  Not the over-produced and somewhat dated-sounding version that Phil Spector nearly ruined on Harrison’s 1970 album of the same name, mind you.  Rather (to my ears) the definitive version that you can find on the second disc of the Beatles’ Anthology 3.  George sings the following, accompanied by nothing but a clean tremolo and reverb-laden electric guitar.  .

Now the darkness only stays the night-time
In the morning it will fade away
Daylight is good at arriving at the right time
It's not always going to be this grey

All things must pass
All things must pass away

Granted, I’m cherry-picking lyrics here, and may even be guilty of taking these words out of their original context. However, I’ll take encouragement where I can find it.  And despite the fact that “this too shall pass” isn’t officially in the bible, it’s a simple shot of wisdom and comfort that all Christians should remind themselves of daily.

It reminds me of Jesus’ promise that we have all heard so many times, and yet continue to forget:

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11)

Whatever you are going through today, if you are suffering or frustrated or depressed or hurting or whatever, just remember it won’t last forever.  God strengthens us through these ordeals that cause us suffering.  They will pass. 

Peace in Christ,
Mark Wylie

For better or for worse, here we go...

Another blog to clutter up the infinite world wide web, I suppose.

Oh, well….Here we go.

I am starting this blog for one reason and one reason only:  I can’t help it.  Paul claimed in 2 Corinthians “I believed, and so I spoke.”  As such, I can’t keep quiet any longer.  I may currently be a recruit firefighter, but I am and will always be a minister at heart.  When I left vocational ministry back in 2009, I vowed to be ‘silent’ for a time.  That time is now over, I’m afraid.

I am currently, technically, unemployed.  Well, I am indeed “employed”, I just don’t get paid for what I do.  I am a recruit firefighter with the Southwest Adams County Fire and Rescue Dept., a small department in north Denver just under Westminster in unincorporated Adams County.

I used to be a vocational minister, with nearly 10 years of experience.  I have 3 masters degrees, one in education, one in “religion” and one in theology.  Of course this makes me the odd bird on our engine crew when I am on shift.  I will turn 37 at the end of October.  Technically I am too old to be doing what I am doing.  To say the least, I am an average ‘rookie’ firefighter/EMT at best, but other than being a minister, I can’t imagine doing anything else.