“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”(Matt.5.19-21)
So Now What?!?
It’s very hard to write this week. To be quite honest, the last few weeks have been rough ones, for different and various reasons. A lot of stress, a lot of blues hinging on despair, a lot of fear in regards to what the future holds, a lot of self-loathing for not being a stronger person. So I guess I’m going through one of those typical emotional storms that everyone goes through at one time or the other. Thank God we don’t all get the blues at the same time!
So yes, it’s hard to write this week. And how to make the transition to the above scripture? Certainly not the direction I was planning to go in last week, but a valid direction nonetheless (here goes nothing!):
Nearly two years ago (November 22, 2009) I stepped down from my ministry position at the church I was working at. I was frustrated and burned-out beyond what I could handle at the time. My wife had a great job, and with her support I decided to train to become a firefighter. I honestly thought I would be more fulfilled, I would feel happier, like I was actually working, doing something, helping people. At the time I felt as a minister I wasn’t doing anybody any good, and that few if any were listening.
Needless to say, we’re coming up on two years now…
So Now What?!?
Although God has blessed us incredibly through my wife’s work (from home, no less), it still kills me that I still have been unable to support our family – no paychecks with my name on them in almost two years.
Although God has granted me steady (but slow) success in my firefighting endeavor, I still feel like I only know the tip of the iceberg (firefighting is like that).
Although I have seen and experienced many things that many people will never see or experience, I still feel unfulfilled.
Although I might get a paid job someday if I just keep plugging away, after these two years I’m just tired, just plain weary, just worn out of the whole idea. And this only makes me loath myself for not being stronger!
Basically, after two years I find myself wanting to go back to where I was before, I desperately want to preach and minister again…but – thus a feeling of remorse, of dread—did I just waste the last two years of my life?
So What’s Next!?!
Two years later and my personal, professional, financial future are still up for grabs. The success I shot for in ministry I did not obtain. The success I have seen in firefighting has not met my expectations either. And for some strange reason I am pretty much incapable of doing anything else! (If you want to make my wife laugh, suggest to her I go into ‘business’)
Just having turned 37, I am realizing some sobering truths about myself as a person: I will never make a lot of money. I will never come close to reaching the level of success I always dreamed of reaching. I will never command the respect I secretly desire. I will never be as strong—mentally and physically—as I wish to be. I will never, ever, live up to my own expectations of being a successful person, thus leading a ‘good’ life…
So Is That All?!?!
All this not to make you feel sorry for me (please don’t)—no, all of this to give you a real life example of how dismal life can become if our hearts are glued to the wrong treasures! “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Material treasures are fleeting, and can be taken away just as quickly as they were handed to us. Treasures of affluence and success can also be stolen. Putting my heart, mind, and soul into a plan of material success only leads to a bigger “What’s Next?”
Eventually, someone takes my job. Eventually, someone steals my power. Eventually, people stop listening and start calling someone else ‘Sir.’ Eventually, I would become a has-been, and eventually if I did make any money, someone else would spend it. Eventually my prized possessions will all wind up in a pawn shop or a junkyard.
So What’s Next?!?! Is That All?!!?
For where you treasure is, there your heart will be also. The only thing that lasts is in a heavenward direction. The Gospel is the only Word that gives life, Jesus is the only person worthy of your allegiance. As much as life may hurt NOW, as unfulfilling or as frustrating as it may be, NOW is only a tiny FOOTNOTE in what is our whole, complete story in Christ. Although we are urged to live in the NOW, it’s certainly not all we have. If this life is all we are living for, if these earthly treasures are all that we strive after, then yes, we can ask with assurance for the rest of our lives, So Is that all?!?!
The writer of Ecclesiastes summed up the purpose of life by saying ‘fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.’ Augustine once wrote that ‘You have created us for yourself, and our hearts are not quiet until they rest in you.’
Despite our troubles, our disappointments, our frustrations, our fears, our cares, our worries, our setbacks, our weaknesses—I remind you to always take comfort in God, to rest in Christ, to seek the peace of God that passes understanding….And yes, indeed, that is all, it is more than enough!!!
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Jesus, Matthew 11.28-30)
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be know to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Paul, Philippians 4.4-7)
In Him,
Mark
Mark
