For better or for worse, here we go...

Another blog to clutter up the infinite world wide web, I suppose.

Oh, well….Here we go.

I am starting this blog for one reason and one reason only:  I can’t help it.  Paul claimed in 2 Corinthians “I believed, and so I spoke.”  As such, I can’t keep quiet any longer.  I may currently be a recruit firefighter, but I am and will always be a minister at heart.  When I left vocational ministry back in 2009, I vowed to be ‘silent’ for a time.  That time is now over, I’m afraid.

I am currently, technically, unemployed.  Well, I am indeed “employed”, I just don’t get paid for what I do.  I am a recruit firefighter with the Southwest Adams County Fire and Rescue Dept., a small department in north Denver just under Westminster in unincorporated Adams County.

I used to be a vocational minister, with nearly 10 years of experience.  I have 3 masters degrees, one in education, one in “religion” and one in theology.  Of course this makes me the odd bird on our engine crew when I am on shift.  I will turn 37 at the end of October.  Technically I am too old to be doing what I am doing.  To say the least, I am an average ‘rookie’ firefighter/EMT at best, but other than being a minister, I can’t imagine doing anything else. 

I resigned from my post as “Young Adults Minister” on November 22, 2009, feeling completely burnt out and used up at a small church here in Denver.  At the time I felt under-utilized and unappreciated, stressed out and sad – perhaps I was too self-centered, who knows?  All I can say is that I served the best I knew how at the time.  It is what it is.

So after some 7 months of prayer, I felt God was telling me to get out.  I assumed that I would experience joy and peace after I resigned – how wrong I was.  Needless to say, the last 20 months have been the most trying period of my life. 

At the same time, I would not trade it for the world.  God really does work through suffering, as all who have suffered and turned to him have learned, despite his ‘silence.’ I would not trade this ‘spiritual desert’ experience for the world.

So despite my weakness and track record, I wish to again be a vocational minster someday.  My time away has given me the strength, determination, and passion to fill that emptiness inside that has plagued me since I left.  Indeed I am very proud of the work that I do as a firefighter, and if it is God’s will for me to be a career firefighter, then I will certainly praise him for granting me such an incredible life experience.

But when all is said and done, nothing allows me the feeling of the presence of the Holy Spirit as when I used to teach, preach, and attempt to minister to others on a day-to-day basis.  Therefore I am currently (albeit in a bumbling and ungraceful way) looking for vocational ministry opportunities.  Despite my flaws and past failures, I am stepping out on faith and prayer.  The Lord will lead me where he wills, and I have learned to be ok with that, even if it means more depression, more trials, more frustration, more feeling as if ‘success’ continues to elude me.  “For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I have been blessed with an amazing wife, 3 wonderful children (2 sons, 1 daughter), and financial stability.  I cannot complain.  Yet I must begin to communicate again, even if few ever read (or care) about what I post here on this blog.  And so I begin.

I ask for your prayers, your friendship, your encouragement, and I will give you the same.  I will use this forum to not only share thoughts, but to encourage as well.  Most vocational ministers quickly forget the suffering that daily attacks most members of the congregation.  Many vocational ministers squander and waste the perfect opportunity they have to preach true hope and gospel from the pulpit.  Thus, I will always do my best to encourage you, despite the topic.  I love you and care about you, and despite my moods, depression, and shortcomings, will pray for you and care for you the best way I know how.  God works some pretty amazing things even through the worst of us.

So here we are:  The long-winded introduction to this blog, one of millions out there.  Future posts will be much shorter and much less self-absorbed, I promise!

But remember, my friend: After all is said and done, despite what you are going through, and despite what troubles we have been through up to this point and what tragedies may remain, please remember the following:

Life is Good!  It is a blessing from God.

And God is so much bigger than all of this; God is so much greater than even these.

Cast your cares upon the Lord.  He will take care of you, even in the midst of suffering.  He will give you moments of clarity and peace, despite what you may currently be going through.  I have experienced it, and I know it to be true.  There is always hope, despite the perceived hopelessness, chaos and suffering that may surround us.  If you fight, if you struggle, always fight for the true hope that only comes in and through Christ.  Nothing else on this earth matters.

Thank you for reading! My next posts begin a series, “Thoughts on Preaching.”  Not as boring as it may sound, I promise!

Peace in Christ,

Mark Edward Wylie